Being a 21-year-old gal, I’ve spent some time barhopping in many cities, such as Florence, Myrtle Beach, Savannah and Charlotte. And each time that I go out with my boyfriend, he very lovingly always warns me of being a ‘woo girl.’
What’s a ‘woo girl?’ Taken from the show “How I Met Your Mother,” a ‘woo girl’ is somebody who becomes extraordinarily social when she drinks and becomes easily excited about almost everything. Now, I’m a social person already, but a few drinks just loosen me up a bit. Let’s not judge- we’ve all been there.
When I’m at a bar, I like ordering my own drinks. I’m comfortable walking to the other side of a room to tell the bartender that I’d like a gin and tonic. I’m also comfortable having a short conversation with somebody while I wait for that g and t. What I don’t like is when people (especially men) think it’s okay to say, “I’ll get her drink.” And what I don’t like even more than that is when I tell the bartender no, but my drink gets put on somebody else’s tab anyway.
To all of the bartenders and bargoers who may be reading this, I state it loud and clear: if somebody does not want you to buy him or her a drink and says thanks but no, don’t buy them one. It may be a kind gesture. You may know that he/she has a partner, but you want to be nice. It may be in the purest of intentions. If I say no, don’t buy me one. And from the perspective of a ‘woo girl,’ here’s why you shouldn’t.
First, I did not ask you to by me a drink. If my harmless banter about the presidential election or what I do for my job may have fooled you as flirting, let me say it again for the people in the back: I didn’t ask you to buy me a drink. I just like talking to you while the bartender makes my g and t. I can handle my own tab, thank you.
Second, your buying me a drink makes our enjoyable conversation something that I don’t want it to be. I love talking to people and making new connections. If I could call it a hobby, I would. When you buy me a drink, it turns our conversation into something that I feel like I owe you. I don’t enjoy it anymore, because my conversation turns into an obligation I have to repay you for my drink. And not only that, if you buy me a drink, even if I say no, you begin to flirt and disrespect me when that was never my intention by talking to you.
Third, and most important to me, when you buy me a drink, I feel like I’m just an object. When I’ve already said I’m just getting my drink, that I have a sweetheart and I can handle my own tab, and you buy me a drink anyway, I know what you want. You want to flirt with me, to impress me. And you want me to flirt back with you. I become an object in your eyes- your target. And I don’t like that. I love talking to people, but if you’re going to see me just as your prey for the night, I can walk away just as easily.
So, guys and gals, if you offer somebody a drink and they say no, take a hint and be respectful. Don’t buy them one.