Muffins and marriage
April 14, 2017
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The other day I was going through my old Instagram posts.
Fun fact: when you get close to graduation, you get really sentimental and want to remember old things. Well, you want to remember some old things.
I read the caption from a freshman year post: “Just made blueberry muffins #wifestatus #wifemeup.”
I just about barfed in my mouth and then promptly deleted the post. If I knew then what I know now about relationships, which, mind you, is not a lot, I would have never posted that.
The “wife me up” mentality isn’t a healthy one at all. Saying things such as “wife me up” and “wifey” and “wife status” is incredibly offensive to what marriage is. College isn’t the place for that.
Another fun fact about getting close to graduation is that you have a ridiculous number of friends who are getting married. It blows my mind how many people are engaged or married or pregnant. You know you’re close when about 80 percent of your conversations are about other people’s weddings.
I hate to say it to my freshman self, but, while baking blueberry muffins may be satisfying, they’re not the way to a healthy, happy marriage. They’re not even the way to a healthy, happy dating relationship or even a friendship.
I grew up in a place that wasn’t particularly southern, and now I go to a southern university. I never thought that the MRS degree was an actual thing, but from some of the posts that my overtly southern friends make, and from the post I made to feel like I fit in, the MRS degree definitely is a thing. Girls come to college to find their husbands. Sure, they get a four-year degree, but whether or not they work a day in their field doesn’t matter to them because they have their men.
I think it’s that flippant attitude about marriage that creates the problem of women wanting their MRS degree or women craving for and lusting after that infamous diamond ring.
Women are so much more than wifey statuses. I know several girls at this university who try to force relationships in that will result in marriage. Some people say that college is the place where you’re most likely to find your spouse, which makes some people feel pressured to focus less on college diplomas and more on marriage licenses.
Instead of trying to force themselves into relationships, I think women should focus on themselves. What merit comes from taking an artsy picture of a blueberry muffin and making that an advertisement for your vacant husband opening? Women who flaunt their single status in an attempt to jokingly show how matriarchal they are is kind of sad. First, women shouldn’t have to sell themselves on social media to find men. Second, they shouldn’t be so insecure with themselves that they feel the need to flaunt their singleness to get attention.
Instead, women should drop the “wife me up” status and focus on themselves. Having patience is classy.
I’m not against marriage in college. I’m very happy for my friends who are entering a new chapter.
I’m just saying women should take a moment to make sure they’re not just getting married for the status. A girl can make a mean muffin, but that doesn’t mean her marriage will be happy in the long run.