Natalie Bejarano-Dugarte

Sometimes, we take the words of others to heart. We give them the power to control how we feel about ourselves and our lives without meaning to. What I am talking about here are those friends who, in some way or another, tell you that you aren’t good enough. “You’re so unappreciative,” or “You’re so egocentric,” they may say.  People base their assumptions about us from an external standpoint, not taking into account all of the many wonderful things wehave done in our lives. It’s sadwhen you think about it. The entire idea of not judging a book by its cover is ignored more often than we think. What do you do in a situation like this? Do you take it to heart? Wallow in self-pity? Acknowledge that maybe, you just might not be good enough for anyone? Not quite. That’s not the appropriate behavior to take. 

People come and go in our lives to teach us valuable lessons and to help us grow. Sometimes these people will hurt us, annoy us, or just flat-out reject us.  However, what many people don’t see is that it has nothing to do with who you are as a person. We’re talking about an entirely different issue. You see, each one of us has our own way of thinking. Each one of us is also at a different stage in our life. Very often, people will not see what you see simply because they are not at that stage of understanding yet.

We’ve all heard it before: “You shouldn’t care what other people think.” This is so much easier said than done. It’s natural to care, to want to be a people-pleaser. Not caring comes with time and through experience. In life, you have to go through certain experiences to learn things. Eventually, as you get to that point where you’ve just gone through everything imaginable, you might stop caring what other people think. Others, especially the particularly sensitive ones, will always care. There’s nothing wrong with caring or not caring. The idea behind this is to simply change the way you react to what is said about you.

If someone tells you, for instance, that you are not humble or gracious or appreciative enough, how would you feel? Most likely, you would be devastated. You would be mad, hurt, doubt your accomplishments and abilities, and in the most extreme of cases, hate the person. However, as time goes on you begin to realize this: That person doesn’t really know you. In fact, nobody really knows you like you know yourself. You know what you’ve done and what you’ve accomplished, so you should be genuinely happy for yourself. If others can’t see that, it’s not your problem, and it’s not your job to make them see that either. Caring about what other people think and trying hard to please others has drawbacks.  It drains your energy. Instead, focus your time and energy in things that make you feel good about yourself, whether that is through volunteering or something else.