Happy belated Singles Awareness Day! Yes, I am serious. This is the time of year when people like me avoid movie theatres, restaurants and even specific aisles of Wal-Mart. What do I mean by people like me? I mean those of us who currently are not in a relationship and will be consistently bombarded with reminders about it.
Well, it’s not quite that bad, but you know what I mean. There’s nothing people like me particularly dislike about candy, couples and the over-used “L-word.” It just seems like February is the time of year that your solo status seems to be hanging above your head as a flashing, undulating, glittery neon sign. What makes it worse is when the entire world wants to know your plans for Feb. 14(Netflix, anyone?). There is the off chance that someone will ask you to be their Valentine, but more than likely you will end up coming out of the holiday the same way that you went in. But fear not singles (yes guys, I’m talking to you, too), I have some tips for how to survive the unnecessary lovey-dovey madness.
- Please avoid the chick-flicks at Julia 4. I know this will be particularly difficult for the ladies, but there’s nothing a cupcaking couple loves better than to sit in a dark movie theatre watching Channing Tatum woo some unsuspecting brunette. Make that movie $5 and you now have to deal with droves of hand-holding, cheek-kissing, sweet talking married couples. Don’t even get me started on the teenagers. Five words: wandering hands cause dead eyes.
- Turn off your notifications. Stay away from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, and any other site where people constantly update you on their lives. If you are anything like me, then chances are you do not want to know what so-and-so and his or her “boo thang” did during the Valentine’s Day weekend. Not only will the status probably contain too much information, but it will also more than likely leave you questioning the logic of the universe. Believe me; you do not want to be having the “how does so-and-so even have a significant other” conversation with yourself at 2 a.m. when your phone won’t stop beeping.
- If you have two best friends that date each other, do not under any circumstances tag along on their dates. There’s a reason that adults don’t ride tricycles: they don’t like third wheels! So you will likely end up rusting in the corner. Other than being an overall mood killer for them, this plan is most guaranteed to make you want to throw up your gallbladder. It will not be able to produce enough insulin to combat the type of saccharine sweetness you will witness. Then again, there are few things less puke-worthy that watching the people you grew up with make puppy-dog eyes at each other. Please save yourself the energy and the electrolytes.
Stay busy! Do not even give yourself time to feel alone. Fill up your schedule with the things you should have finished weeks ago. You will have so much to do that you will be glad there is no one in your way, and you will get so much accomplished that it will be difficult not to be pleased with yourself. For my non-procrastinators, pick up a hobby. By the time you find one that you like and master it, spring will be upon us and the singles will reign supreme once again! Stay strong my brothers and sisters, and may the odds be ever in your favor!