Valentine’s Day Reflections

Rebekah Davis, Staff Writer

I was tricked this Valentine’s Day. I was tricked into believing that I needed a valentine. I was tricked into thinking that I wouldn’t have a spectacular day if I spent it alone but rather that I would have a dull, insignificant day.

Well, I proved whoever tricked me wrong. I had an absolutely fabulous Valentine’s Day without a valentine. I would even dare to say that this was the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.

I drove to Savannah, Ga., that morning and spent some quality time getting pampered at a hair salon. Nothing makes me feel more self-confident than a new hairstyle. I drank some coffee, and I spent my afternoon and evening shopping in Hilton Head. It was surprisingly refreshing to spend time with myself.

Having recently ended a relationship, I’ve started a journey of self-exploration that people say is pivotal in your 20s. I’m slowly but surely finding out things that I enjoy doing alone. I truly enjoy focusing on my schoolwork, hobbies and friends. As odd and pathetic as that sounds, this is possibly the most content with myself that I’ve ever been.

And that thought bothers me. Why have I been feeling compelled to be in a relationship and to find love when I’m happiest alone? Too often people are told that they need to have a significant other to be truly happy. We are told that love is what we need to feel complete. We are told that we are not good enough individually to be alone.

I was shocked that what was supposed to be the loneliest day of my year became a day that was filled with quality time alone. It felt like I was going against nature by spending Valentine’s Day without a valentine.

It upset me that I felt that way because I knew that it was the message I heard day in and day out leading up to Valentine’s Day making me feel alone. Loneliness was something that I allowed advertisers and big stores to make me feel. No one should have control over what I think, feel and do.

After realizing this, I started living with a new philosophy. I am going to be okay with being alone. I’m not going to let society, big businesses, advertisements, friends or even family make me feel insecure for being single.

I spoke to several students at FMU about their feelings on Valentine’s Day, and I noticed I wasn’t the only one who felt lonely that day. Even talking to students after Valentine’s Day, some of the single guys and gals felt incomplete without a significant other. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard is to find somebody who complements me not completes me.  I want to encourage those people to spend time getting to know themselves and finding things that they’re passionate about because at the end of the day, we are all individual people.