In three months, my name will be called. I will walk across the stage in the University Center and shake hands with Dr. Carter. I’ll wait for everyone else’s name to be called. Then, I am going to go outside of the UC to take pictures in my cap and gown with my degree and my family. Then, there is nothingness.

Actually, there will be adulthood, which at this moment seems like a miserable abyss that I am trying to not be pulled into.

When I was a kid, I never knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. I always thought I would figure it out as I went. Yet, here I find myself a senior in college, still with no idea what I want to do when I grow up.

My senior year of college has been filled with Googling potential careers that I could pursue with my psychology degree. I have toyed with about three different graduate programs, and by different I mean different subjects not different schools. I have had endless discussions with professors about what direction my professional life should take after graduation. I would like to thank those professors who took the time to help me work out the mess that is my life, especially Dr. Meredith Reynolds and Dr. Jennifer Kunka, who have both been giving me guidance since my freshman year.

I have always been the student who has been on top of everything. I have a nearly perfect GPA. I have a resume that could go for pages. I have reached every goal I have set for myself. It is hard to accept that I have not been able to set a career goal for myself when I am mere months away from graduation. However, I have come to not only accept this fact but embrace it as well.

With my farewell I want to say that it is okay to not be ready to grow up. It is okay to not know what you want to do with the rest of your life. I am 22 years old. I have a lot of life to live, and I refuse to commit to a career that would make me unhappy. I would rather go out into the world and see what I enjoy doing than just determine a job is good from what I read on Google or what I heard about in a careers class.

FMU has pushed me to grow into a person I did not even think I was capable of being. I have learned a lot about myself and gained a plethora of knowledge in my field of study. I know that my time at this university has prepared me for whatever the next step is in my journey, and each of my professors has had a hand in that preparation.

My family, mom and dad, fiancé and friends have also been vital to my success in college. Each of them has pushed me to strive for my dreams and supported me when I fell short. They have listened to me rant about papers, grades and student organizations for four years, and that venting was partially the key to my success. To each of them, I want to say thank you. I know you are looking forward to May 6 as much as I am.

As of yet, I have not applied to any graduate programs. I plan to take some time off and find myself in terms of what I want to do with my life. I plan to get a job after graduation, though I know that no job will ever compare to the one I have had in the Writing Center for the past three years. From there, who knows?

Don’t get me wrong; I am ready to graduate. I know I have worked very hard for my degree, but now that graduation is quickly approaching. I feel scared. I have tried to press a pause button on this semester but to no avail. So ready or not, FMU, I bid you farewell.